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Someone deserves a good spanking

Years ago I went to a Tigers game in Detroit and as always I parked on a side street in one of the nearby neighborhoods because in my view of cheap paying to park is a violation of 11e Commandment.

As I was getting out of my car, a young boy of about 12 or 13 approached me and said he would watch my car for a dollar. Again, ignoring my surroundings, I thanked him but passed on his offer. I figured I needed every dollar I had to pay for the $8 beer inside the stadium.

After the game, we arrived at my car and noticed to our surprise that the passenger side window had been smashed and the contents of my glove compartment were strewn across the street. Nothing was missing, but the point was clear: this was the price I paid for refusing to give this kid a dollar.

In a world filled with crime, I was very lucky. Malicious damage to my car was one of the few incidents I experienced. Until last week.

I received a text from my credit card company stating that there was strange activity on my account and that I should check my statement to determine if their suspicions were correct. Sure enough, there was some very suspicious activity going on and I’m not talking about the staggering interest rate.

So I immediately called the number and it was confirmed that I had been the victim of fraud. Someone somewhere, probably Russia, got hold of my number and made a few purchases that were small, but the amounts were sure to go to big screen TVs or diamond jewelry if their devious plans weren’t not arrested.

I was not happy. Here I am, playing by the rules, and I’m a victim, like millions of others, of credit card fraud. It ticked me off. And I thought to myself, what kind of degenerate bastards are these thieves? And the answer came quickly: they were not sons of Julia Kisonas, that’s for sure.

I grew up in fear of doing wrong. Not only did I have too much respect for my father to disappoint him with criminal activity, but I was totally afraid of the consequences of my mother. She was disciplining the old school, not like today.

I will never forget the day I stalked her when I was young. Yes, I remember very far. And do you know why ? Because we were walking down the street, in broad daylight, past the neighbors, when she stopped, knocked off my underwear and spanked me. It may not be acceptable today, but it worked. I never did it again and the memory stayed with me for over 50 years.

I soon learned that if I got this for talking, I could imagine the punishment for something like stealing. No thanks.

Fortunately, the credit card company caught the thieves before they could do any real damage. And I’m sure they’ll never get caught. But if they did, I would like to suggest their punishment.

Ray Kisonas is the regional editor of The Monroe News and The Daily Telegram. He can be reached at [email protected]

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